It's not so easy loving me. It gets so complicated...everything you've gotta be. -Christina Aguilera
Standards. Everyone has them. They exist.
Sad. but true.
They are the basic requirements we lay upon ourselves and others. But who am I to put standards on others? expect something from someone who maybe cannot provide the final umph! in what I desire.
I am already hard enough on myself. I even fail my own standards.
But when others fail mine, it seems like my disappointment is greater.
maybe because it is easier. easier to forgive them...than to forgive me?
Maybe so.
I just know that as far as I have come on this journey of life...I have realized that my standards have changed. Become more flexible.
in my past, I built my standards based on what others have expected from me.
but what about what I expect from me? What God expects from me. That is far greater.
i'd rather fail from my own faults, then try so hard to meet the expectations for someone else.
dieting. excercising. obsessing with my looks...my calories, fat, sugars....all because one man wanted me to look a certain way.
The list goes on.
Reality check: A man will never change for you. So why make any changes for him?
i quit.
giving up those odd obessions let me grow to love me, for me. I love everything about me. especially my Curves. my Height. long Legs. beauty Marks. big Feet.
The only changes I can make are the ones with myself. The ones with someone who is compromising and wants to change as well.
its taken me my whole life to not feel Insecure about failing someone else's standards.
yes, even God's. but sometimes seems that's easier to accept because we can get back up knowing we are forgiven.
now; I will go forward and be more Forgiving. to Myself. to friends, strangers & Lovers.
