Is this a date?

I am an avid people watcher. What I have become a pro at is witnessing someone on a first date. The tension and nervousness surrounds the entire table and it lingers. We can all feel it! It's pretty thick...Typical; one is shaking their leg; the other is looking away up to the ceiling as they speak hoping the other will not notice their red infused blushed cheeks. It’s obvious. It’s cute. We have all been there once or maybe even more than that. But has there ever been a time where you were wondering if this is even a date?

In this society nowadays, it seems as standards have been lowered and men are a bit intimidated to be a gentleman. Have you noticed there are limited brave souls who will ask a lady to dance? So now it comes down to splitting the bill, meeting somewhere, and count on the fact that alcohol is involved a certain type of guy will expect more than what a woman really wants to give up.

I watched an interview last week where a woman said that no matter what the situation is, a man WILL pick up the check and open a door and treat her like a gentleman. She was firm in her decision and even said it is the same if a man happens to be her friend and invite her out as well. I have to say that I am on her team! So many women want to be and just don’t know how to do it.

First things first, if a man asks you on a date, he should be prepared to pay for the entire night no matter what events may occur. How do you do this you wonder? Don’t offer to pay a cent…avoid the check dance and just eat your dinner, desert and as many glasses of wine as you’d like for all I care! Be FIRM! If he asks you to help pay, you do not have to coincide with this. And if he really does ask, let’s just say that is the last date for him…ever.

You’re probably wondering what you should do if it is just starting out? You’re hanging out and getting to know one another. If you are moving at the snail pace where you meet up when you see one another just be yourself, polite and pay your own way. He will be pleased to see that you’re independent and self sufficient. Who knows, maybe he will ask you on the real date before you know it. But even then, stand firm in being treated like a lady should. Don’t get discouraged! If you’re nervous drop hints here and there what your expectations are.

A first date does not start at noon or 4pm. Anything after 7pm is efficient in this definition. Now when you are on date number 5 or 6, daytime events count. But don’t forget, still do not allow yourself to step up and pay for anything. Now you’re probably saying “But Stefanie, he has paid all of these other times and I want to pitch in a little…because of this or that reason.” The answer is “No!” Stop making excuses! Now, when you decide to get creative and plan a day date for the both of you and you want to surprise him, yes…pay all you want. He will have a great respect for you and also learn where your boundaries are as to how he needs to treat you and how to win his way to your heart…or the bed. Whatever your prerogative is.

See, its simple ladies. This is not something you need to make difficult on yourself. If it is…you need to schedule a meeting with your local psychiatrist