Out of my head, I sang

As I was organizing my files, I came across some writings I had done. Last year, I wrote this about my friend Wes after he joined the ARMY. He has made a major impact on my life, and I wanted to share.

3/14/09

It was the four of us together. It felt like it was meant to be that night. Arm to arm in a grip tight circle singing along to Everlong… “If anything could be this good again…”

Breathe out so I can breathe you in…is the all time favorite line ever written in song history!

Living your last weekend like a normal human, with no forced rules or death training upon you, must have been relieving. Yet, I can only imagine how scared deep down the unexpected existed. Here you are going into a military force where it will change your life forever. I will never have the same Wes again. You will come back more of a man than most.

Every now and then when the sunbeams are on my face, I imagine those warm, sunny, clear days in Monterey. White sandy trails on a hidden beach, the rocks where we would hike to and enjoy an everlasting talk on life, love, lessons and realizations. When your dad passed…

Tears that hit the warm, white sand and the wind was too slow to carry them away. The hugs that always could make anyone feel better. In n’ out, quarters at Mickey D’s. Long summer nights under thousands of stars… and that cross on the top of the hill that lights up at night and leaves us with a little bit of hope for this big world.

It’s funny how things change in life. Never once have we left each other’s lives. I’m so thankful for someone and a friendship like Wes. Goes about understanding me; puts me in my place when I confess my weakness or insecurities. There’s no judgment, just a critique of how things can be better. Encouragement and advice to take a leap of faith and live a better life. “because you deserve it, Stef!” I think of him often. When a song plays, or when I’m sitting alone in my car and need to hear… “chica…” His friendship is a part of my heart forever.

Its almost as if I wish I could live in a memory forever….because at that moment, its Oh, so good. But knowing we all have to move forward at some point..its even greater to remember those special moments. I think we all do. Its what we learn from everything and how we move forward with it that makes it better...

“I know where you hide. Alone in your car, know all of the things that make you who you are.”-M5