Have you ever noticed that when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st…we go into a mode of…”my new year’s resolution this year is….” ? Then a month goes by and of course we slack off and pretty much by Easter Sunday we find ourselves off the regimen.
Well I always think what mine could be…but I never settle on one thing. I brainstorm. Let the months pass usually cannot execute ONE thing I want to do.
However, when it does come for me to choose I’ve noticed I start mine at the end of summer. I have had half a year to grow and experience to choose a true “challenge.”
I will call it a resolution…well when I finish it.
Every year I challenge myself to something different. I do not go with the typical “I want to lose weight, get fit, stay in shape” goal. Only because I want to strive to be fit all of the time. It’s a constant challenge. So I figure why not expand my horizons…and one summer I literally did. I was terrified to fly, and so I bought a one way ticket; to fly from San Francisco to Orange County alone. Of course a few drinks later, I was fine. Since then, I have made numerous travels on planes, and as hard as it still is; I pack my bags and get on the plane…and go. It may take a xanax to calm my nerves; but talk about an enjoyable experience in the end.
Last week after I wrote, I was sitting down in Mrs. Hagemeister’s backyard with our dear friend Joe. I was explaining about how I had started the blog page last year and had never really added anything to it…that lately I was finding myself to write about something every week.
Joe looks at me and says “well I challenge you to write a blog every week for the next year!”
I reply…mildly looking for an excuse. Then with enthusiasm, I respond “ok, you have a deal!”
We shook on it with big smiles on our faces.
In my mind, hoping that I do have something to write about each week! I do not want to fail this challenge.
SO my fellow readers and followers, I will be posting my blogs each week by Sunday night at 12am.
I have journals upon journals that I have written in. I would write to escape…and I could grow inside to out. I wrote almost every day. I even had notebooks with my best friends in High-School. They pretty much are like letters to one another. Asking advice…giving honest advice…sharing feelings.
I speak through written words.
When I had moved down to Southern California to start a new life, I was in a long distance relationship. It was pretty committed, and some of my closest friends never approved. But I did. Until one day when I had noticed my journal was slightly not in its original spot. My boyfriend at the time had been visiting and I wanted to believe he would never intervene with my personal space. I wanted to ignore it as long as I could…but I knew I would not be able to enjoy his visit if I didn’t ask.
So I confronted him. He admitted to reading a few entries. I felt completely betrayed. It was as if all I had ever written about was stolen from underneath me.
I am not the typical writer of:
Dear Diary,
I have had a crappy day. And now it is even worse because my boyfriend read this!
Love,
Me.
I write with pure intention to tell a story. So in 90 years I can look back and remember what I had experienced, cried about, said and enjoyed. I have always been a writer. Did you know that my senior year in high school, I wrote a majority of the stories published in the yearbook? I was then awarded with:
“Writer of the Year 2003”
I even had a poem I wrote about my friend published in a book. I wanted to attend Columbia University in New York City to become an extraordinary journalist. I had taken every possible English and creative writing class offered in High School. It was my muse.
And after that one day; I couldn't’t even bring myself to continue that journal. I never did finish it. I even tried buying other journals. Only to start and never finish.
My friend D bought me a beautiful journal and had written on the start page… “let this help you to continue your legacy.”
I started it…and never finished it. There were times I wanted to rip the pages out and start all over. I never did.
Here I sit. To be challenged to write every week for a year. It is definitely opening an old wound…but I am going to take it on. I have wanted to write everyday for the last 3 years and have not had the courage. This is my New Year’s pledge.
As a promise to my readers, I will not resist and write from my heart and soul. As I always have. I anticipate you enjoy the weeks ahead as I continue this experience. To inspire, love, share hope and change.
I will enjoy each and every one of your opinions and stories. Please feel free to share with me your relatable experiences. I will truly appreciate all of your support.
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing” –Abe Lincoln
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