I don’t understand how people do not like to resolve problems. It’s not a Mathematical issue here. This is a personal issue. Where someone takes advantage of a friend…runs away from it and over a year later decided to walk back into my life by “adding” me on Facebook. With a message that says a hello, an invitation to coffee to catch up…and an “I miss us as friends.” With that in mind…can you see that I viewed it as a SHOCK factor and a “WOW! She’s making a brave step towards “resolving” a friendship?
I won’t mention any names here of course.
But Wikipedia’s definition states: wife of Abraham, Mother of Isaac as described in the Hebrew Bible. Indicates, and sometimes (SOMETIMES!) translates to “princess” and can ALSO mean “Lady.”
A lot of people would logically just do the easiest and maybe the obvious. Burn the Bridge.
Believe me, I have thought about it many times. And there have been many people recently in my life that it seems best to cut them out completely because of their bad behavior towards me. In all reality, that feeling only comes when Im not being very rational. Its when Im hurt and a little angry that I fantasize about lashing out at a B****! Saying how I really feel. But those actions I dream of are because I haven’t had time to actually think about it. Why react so quickly only to cause more problems?
So guess what? I gave this thing time. Not even a week later she decides to “add” my dearest friend. Who had been involved in getting treated the same way. You see, my dearest will not put up with bad behavior. So she took a few days, wrote her a very nice letter letting her know that what she did and how she treated us wasn’t appreciated. That we missed hanging out with her. But, if she wanted to talk it out and still be friends, it would delight her to do so.
An hour later…the friend request she sent my dearest was deleted. Then I was deleted. So I took it upon myself to send her a message. Letting her know I had forgiven her and moved on. What was in the past was the past. I invited her to coffee to also extend my grace to resolve this issue. No reply.
I got to thinking. What A coward! She hid behind technology to try at being friends again, then cannot take charge of her own mistakes. What a flop! Someone who makes a wrong decision at this age knows it. For someone to wanted to invite themselves back into my life and not be willing to talk…well in my book…is a waste of time and is very immature.
Friend; a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. Ally. Supporter.I believe in forgiveness and most of all change. People can change given certain circumstances. And given hers, you would think she would have a sensitive heart. Once again, I was proven right. And I am okay with that. Im okay with her not fitting the the true definition of what a friend should be. I am not the type to be out on the run to hurt anyone. Its when someone hurts me that I am more than willing to discuss feelings and make a change. Move on and leave it in the past. The thing is, I was blinded to think she wanted to do the same thing. How could I have just gone to coffee with her and have never brought it up for discussion?
Oh wait! I know! Wait an entire year to try again. Maybe, I will forget then...
The thing about this earth is; we are able to forgive. Sadly, pain is something we never forget.
If you don’t know how the story goes, the wife of Abraham died from a long life of grief.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
my friend named Steve.
its funny how the world works. when you think about it, its so very small.
you know how you meet someone because of someone? then you find out someone you know already knows them?
Thats how I met my friend named Steve.
his smile that lights up a room. blue eyes that can read right through you.
hes a man who invited me to live with his family. a wife and 3 beautiful girls.
he jokingly said "you cant move to san clemente, thats too far from us!"
i never took it seriously...but i think God was after me and a few days later i asked him if the offer still stood...it did.
and two weeks later I was moving in. the family graciously provided me with a room and our deal was that i help out with the kids for him to enjoy "date" nights with his soulmate. so i did.
i cant even begin to tell you how attached i grew the very first day.
i walked downstairs and right away a hot cup of coffee was offered to me and a warm hug from steve yelling "theres my adopted daughter!" we all laughed.
i was loved already. and I was ready to give the family all of my love.
you know its scary going into a home. because I knew the family, and even celebrated Steve's 41 st Birthday only a few months before. i thought for sure that behind closed doors was going to be a very different thing than the friendship i had built with them.
but it wasnt.
I had a chance to see Steve as a husband and a father. he never took anything for granted. especially the time he would spend with the girls. He even joined us one night at Ruby's when i was babysitting. it was so fun to observe and see the endless love he had for life and his family.
i can say he made me appreciate and want the same things for my own life.
i always enjoyed our conversations. he helped me so much along the way in the last 2 years. it was pure grace. he cared and wanted the best for me. he made me feel like i was a part of the family.
i can still remember our conversations, his voice, his advice, his laugh...and sometimes god lets him visit me, and he still puts a challenge up for me in my dreams.
he made an impact on so many lives.
"its not the years in your life, its the life in your years."
this past weekend I held a memorial golf tournament for Steve. It was so stressful trying to get everything in order in such a short time. I can say I prayed a lot...and I was so lucky to be guided by some of Steve's amazing friends.
we raised money for the girls education fund. It was such a healing process for me. I was stuck at one point...feeling sad...and never sure how to not be...because I know where he is. SO Happy!...So happy in fact, that words probably do not even fit a category to describe it completely.
when I was enjoying dinner at the tournament, i stopped and looked around. I saw so many of Steve's friends and family...all there for the same reason. to never forget such an amazing person. to give back and appreciate all he had given.
im so thankful for the love that has been shown to me by the Hagemeister family. you will never know how much you have changed my life. for the best. i sought a family...and i have been truly blessed.
In Memory of Steve
April 16th, 2010
"I thank my God upon every rememberance of you..." -phillipians 1:3
you know how you meet someone because of someone? then you find out someone you know already knows them?
Thats how I met my friend named Steve.
his smile that lights up a room. blue eyes that can read right through you.
hes a man who invited me to live with his family. a wife and 3 beautiful girls.
he jokingly said "you cant move to san clemente, thats too far from us!"
i never took it seriously...but i think God was after me and a few days later i asked him if the offer still stood...it did.
and two weeks later I was moving in. the family graciously provided me with a room and our deal was that i help out with the kids for him to enjoy "date" nights with his soulmate. so i did.
i cant even begin to tell you how attached i grew the very first day.
i walked downstairs and right away a hot cup of coffee was offered to me and a warm hug from steve yelling "theres my adopted daughter!" we all laughed.
i was loved already. and I was ready to give the family all of my love.
you know its scary going into a home. because I knew the family, and even celebrated Steve's 41 st Birthday only a few months before. i thought for sure that behind closed doors was going to be a very different thing than the friendship i had built with them.
but it wasnt.
I had a chance to see Steve as a husband and a father. he never took anything for granted. especially the time he would spend with the girls. He even joined us one night at Ruby's when i was babysitting. it was so fun to observe and see the endless love he had for life and his family.
i can say he made me appreciate and want the same things for my own life.
i always enjoyed our conversations. he helped me so much along the way in the last 2 years. it was pure grace. he cared and wanted the best for me. he made me feel like i was a part of the family.
i can still remember our conversations, his voice, his advice, his laugh...and sometimes god lets him visit me, and he still puts a challenge up for me in my dreams.
he made an impact on so many lives.
"its not the years in your life, its the life in your years."
this past weekend I held a memorial golf tournament for Steve. It was so stressful trying to get everything in order in such a short time. I can say I prayed a lot...and I was so lucky to be guided by some of Steve's amazing friends.
we raised money for the girls education fund. It was such a healing process for me. I was stuck at one point...feeling sad...and never sure how to not be...because I know where he is. SO Happy!...So happy in fact, that words probably do not even fit a category to describe it completely.
when I was enjoying dinner at the tournament, i stopped and looked around. I saw so many of Steve's friends and family...all there for the same reason. to never forget such an amazing person. to give back and appreciate all he had given.
im so thankful for the love that has been shown to me by the Hagemeister family. you will never know how much you have changed my life. for the best. i sought a family...and i have been truly blessed.
In Memory of Steve
April 16th, 2010
"I thank my God upon every rememberance of you..." -phillipians 1:3
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday kind of Love
As I try and keep up with this weekly blog...well...the week has flown by. There is so much on my plate with work and planning a memorial golf tournament in less than 30 days (you can imagine my pinch!). I decided to take the last two days and spend it by sleeping in, visiting a local beach and enjoying the sound of the crashing waves while dreaming what it would be like to live in the sea life. Seems peaceful until you think of which sea-creature you would like to be...then what defense mechanism you have to take to avoid all of the other predators amongst you. Not so peaceful! I'll be a mermaid, instead. A fantasy...I think could be a bit more intense and I'd be alright.
I never sleep through an entire night. and in these last months, they come so rare. So when they do happen, i take in the moment, enjoy & dream pleasant dreams. I even had a chance to dream of my Grandpa the other day when I decided that waking up so early wasn't on my "to do list!" It felt so wonderful to give him the biggest hugs...and not only one...but as many as i wanted. almost like i was that 7 year old again just loving my grandpa for all that he was. He didn't look sickly as I recalled him on earth...he looked as I had remembered him when I was a young girl. his smile; radiant! and his belly full of joy & laughter. It felt good to wake up and know everything was going to be alright. and..that he was alright. right where he belonged.
So as i stayed in my comfy pj's... I felt like the day wasnt wasted away for the first time. I had no anxiety to rush and do something..or what it was I had to complete. I was surrounded with pure peace and love. Not only to remember that I need to take a break for "me" once in awhile...but to take a moment and enjoy the surroundings I have been blessed with everyday. I think we forget that sometimes...that we only live once. So why not take a time out and enjoy it? I think there are too many days where we rush to do so many things, and forget all of the small things that build up around us to make ourselves happy. Whether its the laughter of other children...or the scent of the ocean air...whatever it may be...enjoy it. Stop. & never forget that each day is a blessing....it is not to be taken for granted.
"its not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true meaning of thanksgiving."-wt.purkiser
I just wanted to share my sunday kind of love.
I never sleep through an entire night. and in these last months, they come so rare. So when they do happen, i take in the moment, enjoy & dream pleasant dreams. I even had a chance to dream of my Grandpa the other day when I decided that waking up so early wasn't on my "to do list!" It felt so wonderful to give him the biggest hugs...and not only one...but as many as i wanted. almost like i was that 7 year old again just loving my grandpa for all that he was. He didn't look sickly as I recalled him on earth...he looked as I had remembered him when I was a young girl. his smile; radiant! and his belly full of joy & laughter. It felt good to wake up and know everything was going to be alright. and..that he was alright. right where he belonged.
So as i stayed in my comfy pj's... I felt like the day wasnt wasted away for the first time. I had no anxiety to rush and do something..or what it was I had to complete. I was surrounded with pure peace and love. Not only to remember that I need to take a break for "me" once in awhile...but to take a moment and enjoy the surroundings I have been blessed with everyday. I think we forget that sometimes...that we only live once. So why not take a time out and enjoy it? I think there are too many days where we rush to do so many things, and forget all of the small things that build up around us to make ourselves happy. Whether its the laughter of other children...or the scent of the ocean air...whatever it may be...enjoy it. Stop. & never forget that each day is a blessing....it is not to be taken for granted.
"its not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true meaning of thanksgiving."-wt.purkiser
I just wanted to share my sunday kind of love.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Tower, this is Ghostrider requesting a Flyby.
Etiquette.
No.I am not talking about trying to walk while balancing a book on your head.
It exists in everything. Manners, Behavior, Words….the list goes on.
Where it slacks…?
Wingman-ship.
"you can be my wingman anytime"-Iceman(topgun)
Last week, I’m out with my friend TK and when we catch up…we tell stories. And somehow TK always has the funniest experiences to share. So funny in fact; I even said that TK would be my next write.
SO! TK was on an outing with his wingman. And while enjoying a few beers, TK spots a young woman. (Now…Tk likes the young, dark mamacitas with big lips!) so he decides to do the gentleman thing, and he asks his waitress to send a drink over to her, BUT not to tell her who its from. This in fact is for TK to find out if she accepts the first drink, and the possibility to find out if she is “alone.” She ACCEPTS! After awhile, TK asks his waitress to send over another drink, this time revealing who its from. Eventually she goes over to the bar, and they start chit-chatting…soon to give out the digits. As they are enjoying their time; TKs wing-man stumbles back to the bar; puts his arm around TK and says “you know my friend here loves wetbacks!”
SHOCKED!!! The hot mamacita goes outside…and well you better bet; she left!
TKs game is officially ruined. Not only did the wingman ruin the moment, but how embarrassing?!
WingMan + TK = FAILED
There are substantial rules to being a good wingman. And not only does this go for MEN…but for us women too!
The first thing I could do was laugh. But in all reality, I was sorry for my friend. It’s not like time wasn’t on his side…his wingman wasn’t on his side. Literally crash and burn.
I decided to go on a people watch hunt while I was out at work and out with the loved ones for the last week or so. Then comes Friday night where I did a few interviews with some single men. Not only did I receive interesting answers…but everyone has their own style of how the wingman-ship should work. My conclusion:
Number 1: Responsiblility! …your wingman should NOT be completely intoxicated at the time of swoop!
“On any particular “mission” the wing is subservient to the team leader. His objective is to assist. In order to satisfy the objective, he must never cut in on the “target.”
Men occasionally have to take a “HIT” for the team. They have to distract her friends from “walking”.
“One has to call a point…and the other is the wing. He is then there to serve. Never hit on a target to distract obstacle or unattractive and jealous girlfriends, have good inflating things to say about the friend.”
As I was out on my mission. It was harder than I had expected. I interviewed right and left. Any possible man I could get that was single. And YES! Even a young good looking Man…who tied a zip up hoodie to his waist. He never quite answered me…so I figured his status type. But don’t they use a wingman too?!
As I am trying to draw my conclusions; I see my DEAR friend and she is talking with the best looking guy in the club….I was so proud of her for doing it alone. She didn’t even tell me where she went, what her plan was…or anything! Women always plan…over think…and then reason with themselves on why they shouldn’t follow through! (See men, we are difficult, and I am admitting it.!)...but there she was…getting ADVICE for me…for this blog.
Here are the official “WINGMAN RULES” to abide by:
*Always be there for your wingman. If you get shot down at least you'll go down together.
*Determine the Target(s).
*Before you approach the Target(s), establish who is the Pilot and who is the Wingman.
*Brief your wingman on the mission and its goals.
*Co-piloting is accepted and encouraged if there are multiple “quality” Targets.
*Don’t be selfish! Support, not personal gain, is imperative to being a great wingman.
*Never turn down your wingman if he picks a Target
*Always look out for your wingman's appearance & hygiene (i.e. - let him know if he has something in his teeth or hanging out of his nose). “Dude, you got a boog!”
*If you get shot down, be respectful. You never know if the Targets will change their mind or others could be watching. They could be friends of future Targets.
*Know your wingman. Chemistry is essential.
*Keep the Target's focus on the Pilot and their best qualities.
*Be willing to jump on a grenade for your wingman. ( I don’t recommend, but it happens)
*Never be jealous of your wingman. Know that his success is reflective of you mastering the Rules and that you are a great wingman! (get an ego boost!)
*Protection!
*Be open to advice from more experienced and successful wingmen. (i.e. The Silver Fox or Cougar)
*Never block (CB) your wingman!
-courtesy of wingmanlaws.com
These can apply for a woman winging her best guy friend. I have helped numerous guy friends achieve a date…then there are the times where I have helped them avoid the crazies!And believe me, they exist. I am team girl...but some ladies need to get a grip!
I really hope this helps our irresponsible, unknowledgeable, shy, inappropriate wings we may have.
I have to say that I am thankful in my confidence and the best friends I could ever ask for. There have been times where we have all been in a hard place on the field, and we should all encourage the honest truth on how to participate the right way. For those of you that don’t want to do it alone…I hope I have encouraged you to further your experiences.
Please; play nice.
“I could take care of business on my own; before I was married”- Mike T.
No.I am not talking about trying to walk while balancing a book on your head.
It exists in everything. Manners, Behavior, Words….the list goes on.
Where it slacks…?
Wingman-ship.
"you can be my wingman anytime"-Iceman(topgun)
Last week, I’m out with my friend TK and when we catch up…we tell stories. And somehow TK always has the funniest experiences to share. So funny in fact; I even said that TK would be my next write.
SO! TK was on an outing with his wingman. And while enjoying a few beers, TK spots a young woman. (Now…Tk likes the young, dark mamacitas with big lips!) so he decides to do the gentleman thing, and he asks his waitress to send a drink over to her, BUT not to tell her who its from. This in fact is for TK to find out if she accepts the first drink, and the possibility to find out if she is “alone.” She ACCEPTS! After awhile, TK asks his waitress to send over another drink, this time revealing who its from. Eventually she goes over to the bar, and they start chit-chatting…soon to give out the digits. As they are enjoying their time; TKs wing-man stumbles back to the bar; puts his arm around TK and says “you know my friend here loves wetbacks!”
SHOCKED!!! The hot mamacita goes outside…and well you better bet; she left!
TKs game is officially ruined. Not only did the wingman ruin the moment, but how embarrassing?!
WingMan + TK = FAILED
There are substantial rules to being a good wingman. And not only does this go for MEN…but for us women too!
The first thing I could do was laugh. But in all reality, I was sorry for my friend. It’s not like time wasn’t on his side…his wingman wasn’t on his side. Literally crash and burn.
I decided to go on a people watch hunt while I was out at work and out with the loved ones for the last week or so. Then comes Friday night where I did a few interviews with some single men. Not only did I receive interesting answers…but everyone has their own style of how the wingman-ship should work. My conclusion:
Number 1: Responsiblility! …your wingman should NOT be completely intoxicated at the time of swoop!
“On any particular “mission” the wing is subservient to the team leader. His objective is to assist. In order to satisfy the objective, he must never cut in on the “target.”
Men occasionally have to take a “HIT” for the team. They have to distract her friends from “walking”.
“One has to call a point…and the other is the wing. He is then there to serve. Never hit on a target to distract obstacle or unattractive and jealous girlfriends, have good inflating things to say about the friend.”
As I was out on my mission. It was harder than I had expected. I interviewed right and left. Any possible man I could get that was single. And YES! Even a young good looking Man…who tied a zip up hoodie to his waist. He never quite answered me…so I figured his status type. But don’t they use a wingman too?!
As I am trying to draw my conclusions; I see my DEAR friend and she is talking with the best looking guy in the club….I was so proud of her for doing it alone. She didn’t even tell me where she went, what her plan was…or anything! Women always plan…over think…and then reason with themselves on why they shouldn’t follow through! (See men, we are difficult, and I am admitting it.!)...but there she was…getting ADVICE for me…for this blog.
Here are the official “WINGMAN RULES” to abide by:
*Always be there for your wingman. If you get shot down at least you'll go down together.
*Determine the Target(s).
*Before you approach the Target(s), establish who is the Pilot and who is the Wingman.
*Brief your wingman on the mission and its goals.
*Co-piloting is accepted and encouraged if there are multiple “quality” Targets.
*Don’t be selfish! Support, not personal gain, is imperative to being a great wingman.
*Never turn down your wingman if he picks a Target
*Always look out for your wingman's appearance & hygiene (i.e. - let him know if he has something in his teeth or hanging out of his nose). “Dude, you got a boog!”
*If you get shot down, be respectful. You never know if the Targets will change their mind or others could be watching. They could be friends of future Targets.
*Know your wingman. Chemistry is essential.
*Keep the Target's focus on the Pilot and their best qualities.
*Be willing to jump on a grenade for your wingman. ( I don’t recommend, but it happens)
*Never be jealous of your wingman. Know that his success is reflective of you mastering the Rules and that you are a great wingman! (get an ego boost!)
*Protection!
*Be open to advice from more experienced and successful wingmen. (i.e. The Silver Fox or Cougar)
*Never block (CB) your wingman!
-courtesy of wingmanlaws.com
These can apply for a woman winging her best guy friend. I have helped numerous guy friends achieve a date…then there are the times where I have helped them avoid the crazies!And believe me, they exist. I am team girl...but some ladies need to get a grip!
I really hope this helps our irresponsible, unknowledgeable, shy, inappropriate wings we may have.
I have to say that I am thankful in my confidence and the best friends I could ever ask for. There have been times where we have all been in a hard place on the field, and we should all encourage the honest truth on how to participate the right way. For those of you that don’t want to do it alone…I hope I have encouraged you to further your experiences.
Please; play nice.
“I could take care of business on my own; before I was married”- Mike T.
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